
                           bodies-under-siege FAQ
                                      
   bus (bodies under siege) is a thriving, close-knit, vibrant community
   of people who all have one thing in common: self-injury has somehow
   affected their lives. Most of the members of bus are people who have
   or still do inflict physical harm on themselves as a way of dealing
   with overwhelming situations. Although many bus subscribers are trying
   to stop hurting themselves (and quite a few are SI-free), a desire to
   stop is not a requirement for membership. More details can be found at
   [1]bus Central.
   
   The list gets quite a bit of mail; many people choose to set up a
   separate email account for it. I provide free, anonymous, ad-free
   email for members of the bus community at [2]busmail. Accounts have a
   10 meg quota and are completely private.
   
   You can subscribe to bus right here. Select the form of the list you
   wish to receive, enter your email address, and you'll be automatically
   added to the list. Be sure to include your complete email address
   (me@foo.bar); if you leave off the bit after the @, the form will
   substitute crystal.palace.net for it and you won't get subscribed.
   
   Digest subscribers get 5-8 big messages per day, each containing 15-30
   smaller emails made into one file. Regular list subscribers get each
   post as it is sent to the list; the list receives 100-150 posts daily.
   
   Subscribe to:
   (_) bodies under siege
   (_) bodies under siege, digest form
   Please enter your email address (as it appears on outgoing messages):
   ____________________
   
   subscribe to bodies under siege
   
   The mailing list led to creation of a passworded private [3]irc
   channel for people to get support and contact with others when they
   need someone to talk to. The channel is also a good place to be
   social; it can be crowded at times, but if you just jump in you'll be
   a regular in no time. Please be sure to follow the [4]channel
   guidelines while chatting. If you have questions, please [5]contact me
   for more information.
   
   [INLINE]
   
Questions frequently asked about the bus list

   1. What does "bus" mean?
          The acronym bus stands for bodies under siege, which in turn is
          the title of one of Dr. Armando Favazza's seminal book on
          self-injury.
          The list itself was originally conceived as a safe place for
          people concerned with self-injury to speak the unspeakable. In
          a world where we're treated like freaks or outcasts as soon as
          anyone learns about our problem, bus stands as a place to find
          relief, support, and understanding. It's also evolved into a
          place for people to share tips about and work together toward
          recovery.
          
   2. Do I have to cut {burn, hit, pick at scabs, break bones, etc}
          myself to be on bus?
          No. Anyone with an interest in self-injury is welcome. In fact,
          friends and loved ones of those who injure themselves are
          particularly welcome, because the more people in a
          self-injurer's life who know and understand what's going on,
          the easier it is for that person to work toward recovery.
          However, there is a separate (and very small) [6]non-bus list
          for families, friends, and partners of people who self-harm.
          There's also a families and friends section on the [7]bus Web
          Board.
          
   3. What kinds of people are on a list like this?
          We range in age from 14 to 50+. We are professionals,
          engineers, teachers, parents, blue collar workers, nurses,
          counselors, unemployed, students. We are male and female; gay,
          straight, bi... we're diverse to the point of defying
          description.
          
   4. What are the rules?
          They're pretty simple, and are designed to make the list as
          safe as possible for as many people as possible. You can see
          the complete [8]list of guidelines here or get them in email by
          sending mail to [9]buslist.org with the words
          info bus
          as the content of the mail.
          Please realize that self-injury is a sensitive topic and many
          people are not "out" about it. On bus, we respect the right of
          others to decide whom they will tell what about their lives.
          By its nature, bus tends to be slightly upsetting reading for
          some people. It's often a good idea to take a few moments to
          gather your thoughts before reading list mail. Do some
          relaxation exercises or deep breathing.
          If you read something that upsets you, get some space before
          you respond. Write your response and let it sit for a day, then
          reread it and edit out anything that sounds like a personal
          attack. Remind yourself that not everyone knows what will push
          your buttons, and that all of us on the list tend to be a bit
          hypersensitive to criticism. If you feel you have been
          personally attacked, please contact me privately to discuss the
          situation before you post about it to the list. Chances are
          that the person you think is attacking you is reacting to
          something *you* didn't realize would upset *them*.
          
   5. What is the digest form?
          "Digest" is kind of inaccurate, because you get exactly the
          same messages when you're subscribed to the digest as you do
          when you're on the regular list. The only difference is how you
          get them. If you are on the regular list, you get new messages
          as they are sent, one at a time. The digest saves up individual
          messages and sends out a bunch of them at once, all put into
          one big message. There are about 5-8 digests/day, and each has
          15-30 messages in it.
          
   6. What's all this recovery stuff about?
          One of the goals of bus is to help and support people who feel
          ready to stop. To this end, information about techniques for
          stopping, techniques for "retraining" your brain to respond
          differently in crisis situations, and information about how to
          find help are often posted to the list.
          
   7. Does this mean that I don't belong if I'm not ready to stop?
          Not at all. We recognize that some people aren't yet ready to
          let go of self-injury as a coping mechanism, and we as a group
          are as supportive of them as we are of those who are trying to
          stop. bus is a place where you can say anything, express the
          pain you've kept bottled up for years, purge yourself -- it's
          just that one of its main foci is on recovery. But recovery
          shouldn't, and doesn't, come at the expense of those who are
          not quite ready to commit to stopping. And for some people,
          three days without self-harm is as hard as three months for
          others. bus is about encouragement and respecting limits.
          
   8. What is a spoiler and when should I use one?
          A spoiler is a warning in the subject line that the material
          posted is intense or graphic and might trigger some people --
          that is, increase their desire to self-harm. As a courtesy, the
          people of bus warn each other when a post contains religious
          content, eating-disorder/weight-related content, or intense and
          graphic descriptions of abuse, self-harm, self-hatred, sex, and
          suicidality. Suicide notes, personal attacks, and reposts of
          private mail aren't permitted and off-topic discussions of
          controversial subjects should be avoided. Again, see the
          [10]list guidelines for a full explanation of when to use
          spoilers.
          Use your own judgment in deciding whether to heed spoilers. If
          you're feeling fragile, you might want to skip spoilered items.
          
   9. What do all these acronyms mean?
          People on the list often use acronyms as a sort of shorthand.
          Bus Central has a list of [11]common acronyms with a link to a
          list of IRC/chat slang and acronyms.
          
   10. Speaking of DID, can alters post?
          Yes, but you will be held responsible for anything posted under
          your name. Please keep yourself safe.
          
   11. What is the proper term for hurting yourself?
          There isn't one. You'll find it called all sorts of things --
          parasuicide, self-mutilation, self-abuse, self-destructive
          behavior... most people on bus prefer to call it "self-injury"
          or "self-harm."
          
   12. What's the incentive program?
          It's been discontinued until I find a way to mass-produce
          tokens, but the original plan was: You set a goal. At 30, 60,
          and 100 days of no-injury, I'll send you [12]tokens. The whole
          thing works on the honor system.
          
   13. I heard people can call you if they're crashing. Is this true?
          Sort of. If you're in a really bad space, I'd rather you phone
          your therapist or a local crisis line. They have the resources
          to offer you immediate help. However, in special circumstances
          I'll agree to be a phone backup for some people. Email me for
          more details.
          Please realize, though, that I'm human and have bad days just
          like you. I can't guarantee how helpful I'll be, but I do have
          suicide/crisis intervention training.
          
   14. Who are you to be offering this?
          Good question. I have extensive training and experience as a
          crisis hotline counselor, as well as a B.S. in psychology. I
          also used to self-injure, but have been stopped for more than
          four and half years.
          
          [INLINE]
          
          I hope this answers most of your questions about bus, and I
          hope you find some of what you need here. bus is a very loving
          and supportive community, and when you're ready to delurk and
          introduce yourself, you'll be surprised at the warm reception
          you receive.
          Deb Martinson
          bus admin
          
          [INLINE]
          
  return to [13]SI main page

References

   1. http://buslist.org/
   2. http://busmail.org/
   3. http://buslist.org/chattest.html
   4. http://buslist.org/guides.html
   5. mailto:llama@palace.net?subject=ircinfo
   6. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/nonbus.html
   7. http://buslist.org/secretshame/UltraBoard.cgi
   8. http://buslist.org/guidelines.html
   9. mailto:buslist.org?info
  10. http://buslist.org/guidelines.html
  11. http://buslist.org/acro.html
  12. http://www.drizzle.com/~llama/tokens.html
  13. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/injury.html
