
                     Self-injury: You are NOT the only one
                                       
                Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
              I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
                  Then the almost unnameable lust returns.
                               --Anne Sexton
                                      
National Self-Injury Awareness Day coming March 1, 2002

   Check out the [1]NSIAD Web Board.
   
           [2]Introduction     [3]Information     [4]Interactive
                                 [5]Site search
                                      
Introduction

   In spite of the title, there is no shame here. If you cause physical
   harm to your body in order to deal with overwhelming feelings, know
   that you have nothing to be ashamed of. It's likely that you're
   keeping yourself alive and maintaining psychological integrity with
   the only tool you have right now. It's a crude and ultimately
   self-destructive tool, but it works; you get relief from the
   overwhelming pain/fear/anxiety in your life. The prospect of giving it
   up may be unthinkable, which makes sense; you may not realize that
   self-harm isn't the only or even best coping method around.
   
   For many people who self-injure, though, there comes a breakthrough
   moment when they realize that change is possible, that they can
   escape, that things can be different. They begin to believe that other
   tools do exist and begin figuring out which of these
   non-self-destructive ways of coping work for them. This site exists to
   help you come closer to that moment.
   
   Please try to make yourself safe before proceeding; some of these
   pages contain material that may temporarily intensify the urge to
   self-harm in some people. If you are struggling with the impulse to
   self-injure right now, you may want to skip directly to the
   [6]self-help section. If you're new to the concept of self-injury and
   don't know where to start, try this [7]quick primer on SI. The primer
   is also useful if you find some of the other pages here too technical.
   
   How do you know if you self-injure? It may seem an odd question to
   some, but a few people aren't sure if what they do is "really"
   self-injury. Answer these questions:
    1. Do you deliberately cause physical harm to yourself to the extent
       of causing tissue damage (breaking the skin, bruising, leaving
       marks that last for more than an hour)?
    2. Do you cause this harm to yourself as a way of dealing with
       unpleasant or overwhelming emotions, thoughts, or situations
       (including dissociation)?
    3. If your self-harm is not compulsive, do you often think about SI
       even when you're relatively calm and not doing it at the moment?
       
   If you answer #1 and #2 yes, you are a self-injurer. If you answer #3
   yes, you are most likely a repetitive self-injurer. The way you choose
   to hurt yourself could be cutting, hitting, burning, scratching,
   skin-picking, banging your head, breaking bones, not letting wounds
   heal, among others. You might do several of these. How you injure
   yourself isn't as important as recognizing that you do and what it
   means in your life.
   
   Self-injurious behavior does not necessarily mean you were an abused
   child. It usually indicates that somewhere along the line, you didn't
   learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings. You're not a
   disgusting or sick; you just never learned positive ways to deal with
   your feelings.
   
   My intent in these pages is to educate, to inform and, most of all, to
   help those who hurt themselves understand that they're not crazy or
   freaks or evil. They're human, people in pain who have developed a
   coping mechanism that, while maladaptive in terms of the "normal"
   world, works for them. Although learning other, better ways to cope is
   an admirable goal, beating them up emotionally for falling short of
   this or lapsing just perpetuates a vicious cycle.
   
   This site does not encourage self-harm, nor does it condemn people for
   choosing to harm themselves. There is explicit material here, because
   over the years people have expressed great relief at seeing the words
   of others and finding out that other people do what they do and feel
   what they feel. They've also found it refreshing to be in a place that
   discusses this sensitive topic in a matter-of-fact way, without
   sensationalizing or dramatizing it.
   
   As a way of life, self-injury is pretty ineffective. It's not a
   terribly effective coping method, either, but it's far from being the
   worst thing a person can do. I choose to radically accept reality --
   some people are going to hurt themselves regardless of what I say
   here. Polite euphemism and side-stepping aren't going to lessen the
   odds of that. I strive to be genuine, compassionate, concerned, and
   realistic.
   
   The information here comes from the five years I've spent listening
   to, talking with, and skills-coaching people who self-injure;
   peer-reviewed journals; books; internet surveys; and other sources
   (see references). Many people have told me their stories and
   contributed immensely to this site. Without their generosity, this
   page would be impoverished. If this site can help you feel as though
   your burden is no longer one you carry alone, I'll feel I've repaid
   them.
   
   Deb Martinson
   July, 2001
   
    These pages copyright 1996-2001, Deb Martinson. All rights reserved.
    Noncommericial reproduction is encouraged; please credit author.
    [8]About the author
    [9]Reproduction/citation information
    
                                 separator
   
[10]Site news -- updated 29 July 01

     * Site search added
     * First-aid and bus list pages updated; busmail.org info added
     * Introduction rewritten and page redesign implementation begun
     * Living with SI page expanded and updated
     * [11]Poll on self-injury methods
       
Information, self-help, personal stories

     NOTE: "What self-injury is" and "Personal Quotes" contain
     potentially distressing material. If you self-injure now or have in
     the past, please make yourself safe before reading these sections;
     they may temporarily intensify your urge to self-harm.
     
                              [12]Introduction
                                      
                               [13]Self-Help
                                      
                          [14]What self-injury is
                                      
                     [15]Living with the effects of SI
                                      
                      [16]Why some people self-injure
                                      
                     [17]Help for families and friends
                                      
                        [18]Demographics -- Who SIs?
                                      
                      [19]Quotes from personal stories
                                      
                     [20]Etiology -- Underlying causes
                                      
                               [21]References
                                      
                          [22]Associated Diagnoses
                                      
                            [23]Trauma/PTSD FAQ
                                      
                         [24]Therapeutic approaches
                                      
                      [25]Updates (Last: 29 July 2001)
                                      
                                 separator
   
Interactive areas

   [26]bodies under siege email support list for people who have concerns
     about self-injury (open to people who do or have done self-injury,
                         therapists, friends, etc).
                                      
      [27]#buslist -- a private, password-protected bodies-under-siege
   Internet Relay Chat (IRC) channel with a java interface. A safe place
     to talk about things consequential and silly with other people who
    have used or do use self-harm as a coping mechanism. Please abide by
                            the [28]guidelines.
                                      
             [29]Self-assessment of current need to self-injure
                                      
       [30]Real-world resources in the US, Canada, UK, and Australia.
                                      
                    [31]Message board for self-injurers
                                      
              [32]Message board for friends/partners/families
                                      
       [33]non-bus list for friends/family members/etc of people who
                                self-injure
                                      
   [34]Reader survey: your comments and suggestions help me know where to
                       take this page in the future.
                                      
                       [35]Self-injury questionnaire
                                      
                          [36]Pages that link here
                                      
                 [37]Feedback via email is always welcome.
                                      
     [38]Download text version of all pages on this site (zipped; last
                             updated 26 Oct 98)
                                      
   Read reviews of and buy [39]books on self-injury and other books
   referenced on this site through amazon.com.
   
Site search

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     message via ICQ, even if you don't have ICQ installed yourself. If
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     me as soon as I next log on. My ICQ number is 1378766.
     
   If you'd like to be notified of updates to this page, enter your email
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   You can also join or resign from the update list using the [45]list
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   Sometimes I am asked how people can financially support this page.
   Although I will never charge anyone for the services and information
   provided through this site and the bus email list, I have set up an
   [46]Amazon Honor System box to accommodate people who want to
   contribute.
   
                                 separator
   
Acknowledgements

   Thanks to Matt and Gwenneth Sheahan, proprietors of [47]palace.net,
   who by donating the space made this site possible; Soren Dayton and
   Alan Jaffray of the University of Chicago for love, support, and
   technical assistance; Ruth Herman-Dunn; Tammy Bucklew, RN; Kharre;
   Matthew Henry; and all of the subscribers to the bodies-under-siege
   list, whose courage makes me proud to know them.
   
   [48]HealthyWay&#153; Award: Best of Web       [49] SUSOGI award 
   [50][LINK] 
   
   
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References

   1. http://www.drizzle.com/~llama/nsiadbbs/bbs_entrance.cgi
   2. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/intro.html#intro
   3. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/intro.html#info
   4. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/intro.html#iact
   5. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/intro.html#search
   6. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/fself.html
   7. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/guide.html
   8. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/vit.html
   9. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/cite.html
  10. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/news.html
  11. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/next.html
  12. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/intro.html#intro
  13. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/self.html
  14. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/what.html
  15. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/living.html
  16. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/why.html
  17. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/ffriend.html
  18. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/who.html
  19. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/quot.html
  20. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/cause.html
  21. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/refs.html
  22. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/diag.html
  23. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/trauma.html
  24. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/ther.html
  25. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/update.html
  26. http://buslist.org/
  27. http://buslist.org/chattest.html
  28. http://buslist.org/guides.html
  29. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/questions.html
  30. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/restherp.html
  31. http://buslist.org/secretshame/UltraBoard.cgi
  32. http://buslist.org/secretshame/UltraBoard.cgi
  33. http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/nonbus.html
  34. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/readsurv.html
  35. http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/qnaire.html
  36. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/links.html
  37. mailto:llama@crystal.palace.net
  38. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/pg102698.zip
  39. http://www.drizzle.com/~llama/book.html
  40. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/asearch.html
  41. http://htmlgear.lycos.com/guest/control.guest?u=sine_nomine&i=1001&a=view
  42. http://htmlgear.lycos.com/guest/control.guest?u=sine_nomine&i=1001&a=sign
  43. http://htmlgear.lycos.com/specs/guest.html
  44. http://wwp.mirabilis.com/1378766#pager
  45. http://www.buslist.org/mlm/index.cgi
  46. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/honor.html
  47. http://www.palace.net/
  48. http://www.infinetcomm.com/cgi-bin/redirect?s21175
  49. http://www.dhearts.org/susogi/award/
  50. http://directory.mozilla.org/
  51. http://www.cs.utk.edu/~bartley/other/prp.html
  52. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?home;ring=bus
  53. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?home;ring=bus
  54. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=bus;id=2;sprev
  55. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=bus;id=2;prev
  56. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=bus;id=2;next
  57. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=bus;id=2;skip
  58. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=bus;id=2;next5
  59. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?random;ring=bus
  60. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=bus;list
  61. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?home;ring=ringout2
  62. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=ringout2&id=47&next
  63. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=ringout2&id=47&skip
  64. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=ringout2&id=47&next5
  65. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=ringout2&id=47&prev
  66. http://www.webring.org/cgi-bin/webring?ring=ringout2&id=47&sprev
  67. http://member.linkexchange.com/cgi-bin/fc/fastcounter-login?65263
  68. http://www.fastcounter.com/fc-join
  69. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/what.html
  70. http://www.palace.net/~llama/
