
                           bodies-under-siege FAQ
                                      
   This is the welcome file for the non-bus mailing list, a list that
   provides support to people dealing with self-injury in friends and
   loved ones. To subscribe, send mail to [1]majordomo@buslist.org with
   the phrase subscribe non-bus as the mail body. To unsubscribe, send
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   Welcome to non-bus! You're probably here because someone you care uses
   physical self-harm to cope with overwhelming feelings, you're not sure
   how to deal with it, and you're feeling pretty overwhelmed yourself.
   This list is intended to be a place for you to talk to other people
   who know the guilt and confusion and pain that loving someone who
   self-injures can bring. There's no way to know if and how much you've
   contributed to the situation, and assigning blame won't really help
   anyway. The question now is "what do I do about it?"
   
   The first thing may be letting go of the idea that you can do anything
   to change the behavior of anyone else. Ultimatums, threats, bribes,
   strip-searches, questions, suspicion -- none of these can make someone
   stop SI. Understanding and love and support may not make them stop,
   either. It's a hellish situation for everyone involved sometimes. It's
   hard to give up the idea that if you just knew the right thing to say
   or do or be, somehow the problem would magically disappear.
   
   I hope that non-bus will be a place to find support and caring from
   other people who've been through the same things you have.
   
   1. What is non-bus?
          The acronym bus stands for bodies under siege, which in turn is
          the title of a book by Armando Favazza, one of the earliest
          books about self-injury to really take it seriously. The recent
          edition of Bodies Under Siege greatly expands on the treatment
          of the subject in the first edition.
          The bus list was originally conceived as a safe place for
          people concerned with self-injury to speak the unspeakable.
          After a year and a half of bus, it became obvious that a
          similar place was needed for those who care deeply for someone
          who self-injures.
          
   2. Can I still subscribe to bus?
          Yes, you're welcome to join or remain on the bus list (although
          if the person you are concerned about is also on the list, you
          might be asked to not subscribe if this would make them
          uncomfortable).
          
   3. What are the rules?
          The rules are pretty loose. I do ask that you refrain from
          personal attacks, either on the person in your life who
          self-injures or on other members of the list. You can disagree
          with someone's opinion without disagreeing with their existence
          as a person. Also, please don't post anything commercial.
          Please realize that self-injury is a sensitive topic and many
          people are not "out" about it. Please respect the right of
          others to decide whom they will tell what about their lives --
          leave list stuff on the list and don't use names unless you
          have permission from the person you're talking about.
          
   4. What are all these acronyms??!?
          People do tend to refer to things in shorthand. Here are a few
          of the most common terms:
          DID -- dissociative identity disorder. Used to be called MPD,
          for multiple personality disorder. People with DID refer to the
          facets of themselves that sometimes take over for a while as
          "alters".
          BPD -- borderline personality disorder, a very controversial
          diagnosis. See my web page or any of the various excellent
          pages on the topic for more details.
          SIB -- Self-injurious behavior.
          Bipolar -- bipolar depressive disorder, also known as manic
          depression. Major depression without mania is sometimes called
          "unipolar."
          DDNOS -- dissociative disorder not otherwise specified; a
          diagnosis for people who dissociate in stressful situations but
          not to the point where they experience themselves as other
          people.
          OCD -- obsessive-compulsive disorder; just what it sounds like.
          PTSD and CPTSD -- post-traumatic stress disorder and a new
          concept, Judith Herman's complex PTSD (resulting from prolonged
          trauma).
          
   5. What is the proper term for hurting yourself?
          There isn't one. You'll find it called all sorts of things --
          parasuicide, self-mutilation, self-abuse, self-destructive
          behavior... most people on bus call it self-injury or sib
          because those are less blaming terms.
          
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References

   1. mailto:majordomo@buslist.org
   2. file://localhost/usr/home/llama/Web/psych/injury.html
