
Are you out about your self-injury?

   [INLINE] Quote added in last update (22 September 98)
   
     [INLINE] Yes I know ppl that do it! Yes, I hide it. I just don't
     tell if anyone asks. Like in the psych ward I threaten to strip
     down and let them see that there are no marks and then they are so
     convinced by my willingness to cooperate that they don't ask any
     farther. [female, age 17, 2 years SIB, taking HS and college
     classes]
     
     [INLINE] Yes, my friends know, my teachers know, and my parents
     know. Yes I know other people who do this... I'm in therapy, but I
     wish it was still a secret... it would be more effective for me if
     I didn't have to worry about other people's reactions [female, age
     16, 1 year SIB, HS junior]
     
     I hide from others with long sleeves. . . . I often want to stand
     on top of the world and shout, "Look at me. Look at this. I am
     ugly. Look at this." I guess that's my equivalent to giving the
     finger. [female, age 17, 1 month SIB, college student]
     
     No. I am so in the closet about it I'm in Narnia itself. I don't
     tell anyone because a) People will look at me differently and b)
     it's really embarrassing. [female, age 25, college degree]
     
     I don't flaunt it. It is not a fashion accessory and it doesn't
     make me cool. I have a guy I know who used to and he's the only one
     who doesn't give me shit about it. [female, age 20, 6 yrs SIB,
     college junior]
     
     [INLINE] I am "out" to some extent. My family knows I do it, but
     they don't know when I do it, unless I get caught.... Like if my
     husband notices I seem to be hiding from him while changing
     clothes, or wearing long sleeves on a hot day. I've also been open
     about this to people in support groups that have nothing to do with
     self-injury. This is a part of me. I used to hide that part of my
     arm with an elastic brace and pass it off as an old injury that
     bothers me every now and then. My arm is full of scars, but I wear
     T-shirts more now and I don't care as much if anyone asks me about
     it. They can either accept me the way I am, or not. Last summer was
     the last time I o.d.'d. I ended up having to go to a hospital. I
     knew about a program for people who have been sexually abused, so I
     said I wanted to go there after they stabilized me. I could relate
     to just about everyone there. I'd say 85% of the patients had cuts
     on their arms. If I noticed this with someone I was talking to, I
     used to say, "I see we both belong to the same club". I try to make
     light of things to feel better. [female, age 38, 13.5 years SIB]
     
     [INLINE] My family is aware of my history, but they believe it
     ended 2 1/2 years ago. I am a master at hiding it now. Only wish I
     could hide the anger within me as well. [female, age 35, 27 years
     SIB, HS graduate (top 10%)]
     
     I am not "out" about my self-injury. I hide it by wearing pants and
     long skirts and long sleeves. I do not go swimming, and I never
     wear shorts. I am very afraid of my cuts being found. . . . I
     really have no desire to end my self-injury; I enjoy the sense of
     calm afterwards. I do wish that I didn't "need" to do it. My only
     fear is discovery and persecution. [female, age 21, 13 yrs SIB,
     college student]
     
     I have a habit of looking at people's wrists to see if they have
     been slashed. I can't count the number of women with scars on their
     arms that I have seen, but I haven't seen any men with self
     self-inflicted injuries (except me). [male, age 21, 6 yrs SIB]
     
     I hide my scars as well as I can. Unfortunately, some are difficult
     to hide, like on my hands. I generally lie about those scars. I
     know some people wonder about my stories. [female, age 20, 5 yrs
     SIB, three yrs of college]
     
     If someone does notice the marks or scars they are quite willing to
     believe any lie, no matter how badly told or conceived, you wish to
     tell them. [female, age 21, college sr]
     
     I remember one episode in which a friend found me with my shirt
     off, blood smeared on my arms and chest, kneeling in my driveway.
     He nearly took me to the hospital, he was so scared. [male, age 16,
     2 yrs SIB, hs/college combo]
     
     I never go out and tell people I've cut myself, but if they ask
     (which never happens), I usually tell the truth. My mum usually
     finds out. She can tell when I'm hiding something. [female, age 19,
     6 yrs SIB]
     
     I always make mine look like accidents cause I don't want anyone to
     know. [female, age 24, 10 yrs SIB, Master's student]
     
     Most of my friends know about it, but since I have to watch out for
     my parents and/or teachers (who just don't understand!) I usually
     do my best to cover it up with long sleeves. Sometimes I cut my
     stomach or my legs and I don't even need to cover it. [ female, age
     16, 2 yrs SIB, HS sophomore]
     
   
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